WHAT IS HAPPINESS?
Lately I’ve thought long and hard about happiness and what it means. I’ve even written A FIELD GUIDE TO HAPPINESS which is coming out October 1st this year. I’m pretty happy about it. First of all, it’s hard to write happy books, that aren’t particularly sensational, that don’t have the traditional three act arc– situation, climax, denouement. You have to write so people won’t put the book down or throw it out the window, or trash it on Amazon, or use it as a door stop. So although there are no fires or ambulance chasing or horror stories, there’s a little sex and sensationalism. I couldn’t help it. But mostly it’s what I learned living in Bhutan, a pretty happy place, and how I translate it when I come to the U.S.– or go anywhere, really. Happiness resides inside of me/us. You can train yourself to be happy. Really. We can all be happier.
Bhutan is always held to a higher standard because of that quote by the fourth king about how he’d rather have gross national happiness than gross national product for his people. I think he was being ironic, but also serious of course. It’s a brilliant way to run a country, thinking about the well-being of the people who live in it. Let’s think about this for a minute. But poor Bhutan is always getting poked and scrutinised and called out. it’s not Shangri~La. It never has been. It’s a beautiful place. The people dress funny, though.
Most of all, it’s not a perfect place. It has problems like any other place. But what I learned living there for seventeen years taught me a lot about how to live simply, how to manifest compassion, how to have fun with no money, how to be kind, and how to wake up– in short, how to be happy. Bhutan is changing so fast. It’s the way of the world. But I think I will never forget what I learned there or the things that happened.
We’re so ramped up in the west, with sensationalism, with schedules, with expectations, and it seems like we need more and more stimulus to keep ourselves interested. But the opposite is really true. Happiness and well being, which are really one and the same, reside in those quiet moments, when you can get away and be alone, or with someone you like, and just relax. Happiness happens when you learn to be calm. if you can train yourself to find and hold those moments, when you alone with or on a crowded train or in a stadium, or anywhere, then you can be supremely happy.
Happiness is having a sense of well-being. Happiness is having enough. Enough water, enough food, enough to keep you going. After that, it’s just icing on the cake. Living in Bhutan for so many years I’ve had less physical stuff– clothing, cars, the things we surround ourselves with, that I’ve ever had in my life. But I have more, if that makes sense. I have more of a sense of well being, a sense of myself and who I am in the world and a sense that I can accomplish pretty much whatever I set out to do. And if I can’t I can still be happy. Being happy is grounding. I have more autonomy and freedom; I have more happiness.
Yesterday was the U.N. International Happiness Day. Here’s the resolution adopted by the General Assembly on June 28, 2012, and put forth by the then Prime Minister of Bhutan, Jigmi Y. Thinley. People in Bhutan worked hard for several years to get the U.N. to make this resolution, and whatever you think about the U.N. and its efficacy, this is a great thing. I wrote about it in Huffington Post. It proclaims March 20th International Day of Happiness. It called for a balanced approach to economic growth, more equity in the world, sustainable growth and poverty eradication.
If you say the word happy, or happiness, some people have a reflexive sneer. Why is that? Maybe they think you’re going to show them a picture of a cute cat. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But happiness is really profound. Pharrell Williams knows this.
I take happiness seriously, and I’ve come up with the Four Truths of Happiness:
1. Everyone wants to be happy.
2. Happiness begins with intent.
3. Happiness doesn’t just happen; it’s a result of conscious action (and sometimes that “action” is to do nothing).
4. This action involves doing simple things well.
The write is the author of two books ‘Married to Bhutan’ and ‘A Field Guide to Happiness’ (to be released in October 2014). Follow her on twitter or on her blog.